Humor & Jokes

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    Martial Arts Humor & Jokes
    Thought it would be really great to get some martial arts jokes to tell in class to break the ice with my young and new students in autumn, if you know of any jokes or humourous anecdotes that can appeal in a class, but still not let it descend into anarchy, I'd love to hear them.
    Let my kick off:
    "How many karate instructors does it take to change a lightbulb?"

    "100! One to change the bulb and 99 to say it would not work on the street!"
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      Andy So this guy walks into a bar.... Ok you can let him go now
      [176815,Alex] :)
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      Al W A Texas cowboy walks into a dojo thinking it’s a bar. Upon entering he says, “Well hell I thought this was a bar not a dance class.” This upsets the Sensei who approaches the cowboy and replies, “This is no dance class, this is martial arts dojo!” Then he politely bows to the cowboy. He then takes a stance and throws a sidekick, stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was side kick from Tae Kwon Do. Then politely bows again. He then throws a lighting fast palm heal strike, again stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was Tiger Palm from Chinese Boxing, “ and again politely bows. After which there is a loud “PRRINGGG!” The students stare in awe as their Sensei is out cold on the floor. Then the Texas cowboy says, Tell that guy when he wakes up… that was a crow bar from Home Depot.
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      Al W My cousin was an incredibly tough man. He was a karate black belt who eventually joined the army. Sadly the first time he saluted he killed himself.
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    Sesame Street: Cookie's Crumby Pictures- The Biscotti Kid (Karate Kid Parod...
    Fun Karate Kid Parody
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      Rachel DS Snacks on, snacks off..an oldie but a goodie.....anyone who follows my blog will know just why I love this so much.
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      Andy I must say though, I am slightly concerned with the limited grading syllabus of Biscotti Ryu karate! :)
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki Pretty funny. "Fly Kwon Do" looked pretty tough. :)

      They did a good job of muppet-ifying Mr. Miyagi.

      Will
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    Dilbert Comic & Martial Arts
    Learn about the destructive martial arts power when Yoga, Feng Shui and Irish River Dancing are combined.

    Part One - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-09-30
    Part Two - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-10-01
    Part Three - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-10-02

    Quote of the day - "He did a fist thing". :)

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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    Tommy Cooper's karate class
    Let's watch a true master at work
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    Krav Maga vs Karate - Which is more effective in a street fight?
    This video scientifically proves that Krav Maga is more effective in a street fight than Karate. :)

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki My question on Krav Maga - In the USA, there has been in an explosion in Krav Maga schools. However, has this led to a watering down of Krav Maga?

      While there are many highly experienced Krav Maga instructors, there is also a large number of instructors who seem to have limited martial arts experience. You don't see many Israeli combat veterans teaching Krav Maga in the USA.

      Will
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      Martin Alcala It still depends on the individual and their ability to defend and strike. I have seen guys from off the street and fight wildly and really confuse the martial art opponent. Your ability to adapt and train well will determined if you are a good fighter or not. The fighting system really helps you stand up but it takes you to deliver.
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      Chad How many traditional martial arts these days still rely on things like Groin Kicks, Eye Gouges, Ear slaps to end an encounter. These things are the bread and butter of Krav Maga. Krav Maga does not teach you to fight with someone it prepares you to destroy them as quickly and violently as possible.
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    Martial Arts Trick Techniques.....
    Ok.... who is guilty of having a trick or novelty technique and what is it? I'm guilty. I saw some people on a video put a bottle on top of a wave master, round house the bag causing the bottle to fly up and then spin kick the bottle as it comes down. My goal it successfully do that one this year lol.
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki [182588,ChuckD]

      Of course, when trying "novelty" techniques... you have to watch out for the potential of epic fails - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XisAEXMT44c

      Will
      Black Belt Wiki
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    Situational Awareness & Self Defense with Master Ken
    Since it is Friday, here is some martial arts humor. In this video, Master Ken makes fun of the selfie "phenomenon". I hope the woman in this video is an actress and not really that clueless.

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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    Kungfu santa!!!!!
    What Santa does to naughty boys and girls! :)
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    Halloween
    I didnt have a costume so i just wore my gi and gave out candy at the door

    I did a few moves in the doorway and then gave the kids their candy

    One little kid was in a nightwing costume and as soon as he saw me he literally dropped his candy bag and bowed - it was the cutest thing ever
    (i gave him extra candy)
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      Andy [171786,Christopher Adamchek] that is a great story, it's nice to hear about good kids when the media is so full of horror stories about young hooligans! :)
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      Al W I have 1 pair of Karate Kid headbands that I use for student of the week at my local club. I'll stick my gi on and go door to door as a middle aged Daniel-San lol
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    Self-Defense Against A Person Armed With A Deadly Banana
    For all of our slightly older martial artists, here is a great Monty Python skit on self-defense. Do you remember this episode?

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Andy Classic! :) of course the Japanese have a different way of dealing with fresh fruit as we saw in another recent video on the community.
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki Now I see where they got the Indiana Jones scene where the huge attacker is swinging the sword & Jones eventually turns around and shoots him!!!! If only a sword was as dangerous as a banana. :)

      Will
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    Chuck Norris hears his own Chuck Norris "facts" (jokes)...
    You might like to watch this video as Chuck Norris reads some of the famous (infamous) internet jokes made about his legendary toughness.

    If you want to read some more of these jokes, please visit this community thread - http://community.blackbeltwiki.com/post/3505985/chuck-norris-tough-guy-jokes

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Al W What do you mean "jokes"?

      Are you trying to tell me that Chuck Norris can't win a staring contest with the Sun?
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      PAUL (paldo) REYNOLDS Remberence of " Kumpai " Time in saluting drinks in Okinawa ! Dojo guys getting together drinking Akidama wine telling tales and expressing dumb things in fun ! We make fun of our senseni's in mocking his Japanese counting and strickness attitude. How stupid was the learning process as we graduated from the silly, stupid, things we did under the Kumpai socialization in going from bar to bar in getting more "stinko" then ever, not to tell upon the truth upon the girls of the evening. The next day was usually an off day from the dojo, thanks to that, for my head told the story of " down in the dumps ". Yes at times, there was some distruction of some bars, but we paid for the damages and apologized to the ownership with a few extra yen (dollars). Our commoradory extended beyond the Americans in the dojo to include the native Okinawans...we were a true brotherhood in devotion to karate, the U.S. military and the local citizens. We even did volunteering to help the homeless and poor and fixed-up some of there land to grow crops in reviving there businesses of farming. We even help fix up a local school to extend class rooms to curve crowdness. We felt good about that ! and the Olinawans paid trubute by giving us a celebration, that naturally turned out to be another "Kumpai" theatre, but with respect in no property damages and just good relations etc. We were'nt that crazy all the time ! When the sensei found out about our Kumpai stints from the dojo, he gave us a compliment, then worked us extra hard...thanks ! The moral of this remberence is that letting loose from rigerous training is good relief within reason. Love ya Oki !
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    Chuck Norris - New Commercial
    Thought you might like to watch this recent Chuck Norris commercial.

    We might have to add some of these jokes to the Chuck Norris page :) - http://www.blackbeltwiki.com/chuck-norris

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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    Karate Kid & John Cena - SNL Skit
    Here is a new version of the Karate Kid with John Cena (WWE star). He played the bad guy in this recent Saturday Night Live skit. However, instead of Cobra Kai, he is part of "Wolf Claw". :)

    Hope you enjoy it.

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Michael I personally thought this interpretation of The Karate Kid was hilariously rational.

      https://youtu.be/C_Gz_iTuRMM
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki [171807,Andy]

      John Cena does some great acting as an evil teenage bully... unless that is not acting. :)

      Will
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      Andy [171668,Will - Black Belt Wiki], lol unfortunately I do fear that certain supposed MA practitioners are not only "listening to the wind" but are also producing a lot of it! :)
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    Video Game Bad Guy Karate Training by Bullshido.net
    Everyone take note, we've all been doing this Kata wrong for years, for those who do this Kata.

    Someone tell Kanazawa
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    Self-Defense Against A Clown
    Since America seems to be experiencing clown hysteria or at least a few idiots in clown suits trying to scare people, I thought you might like to watch Master Ken's latest video.

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Andy Lol, this idiotic phenomena of 'scary clowns' has spread here to the UK, unfortunately I haven't encountered one yet :)
      There have been reports of some of these fools being armed with knives (and guns in a couple of incidents) so as with all potentially dangerous/aggressive encounters it is best to try to ignore or avoid them but if one jumps out at you (as apparently they make a habit of doing) you would be perfectly within your rights to incapacitate them by any means necessary. We even have at least one guy here in the U.K. Who is dressing up as Batman and actively seeking these clowns with the intention of beating them up. I personally think that this is nearly as idiotic as the clowns in the first place for a number of reasons. Firstly as i have allready mentioned they are sometimes armed, secondly it is foolish to go out with the intention of 'beating someone up' with no idea as to that persons strength or fighting ability and lastly, seriously, a grown man going around in a Batman costume who seems to actually think he IS the caped crusader!!!
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