Humor & Jokes

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    Martial Arts Humor & Jokes
    Thought it would be really great to get some martial arts jokes to tell in class to break the ice with my young and new students in autumn, if you know of any jokes or humourous anecdotes that can appeal in a class, but still not let it descend into anarchy, I'd love to hear them.
    Let my kick off:
    "How many karate instructors does it take to change a lightbulb?"

    "100! One to change the bulb and 99 to say it would not work on the street!"
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      Andy So this guy walks into a bar.... Ok you can let him go now
      [176815,Alex] :)
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      Al W A Texas cowboy walks into a dojo thinking it’s a bar. Upon entering he says, “Well hell I thought this was a bar not a dance class.” This upsets the Sensei who approaches the cowboy and replies, “This is no dance class, this is martial arts dojo!” Then he politely bows to the cowboy. He then takes a stance and throws a sidekick, stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was side kick from Tae Kwon Do. Then politely bows again. He then throws a lighting fast palm heal strike, again stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was Tiger Palm from Chinese Boxing, “ and again politely bows. After which there is a loud “PRRINGGG!” The students stare in awe as their Sensei is out cold on the floor. Then the Texas cowboy says, Tell that guy when he wakes up… that was a crow bar from Home Depot.
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      Al W My cousin was an incredibly tough man. He was a karate black belt who eventually joined the army. Sadly the first time he saluted he killed himself.
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    Sesame Street: Cookie's Crumby Pictures- The Biscotti Kid (Karate Kid Parod...
    Fun Karate Kid Parody
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      Rachel DS Snacks on, snacks off..an oldie but a goodie.....anyone who follows my blog will know just why I love this so much.
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      Andy I must say though, I am slightly concerned with the limited grading syllabus of Biscotti Ryu karate! :)
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki Pretty funny. "Fly Kwon Do" looked pretty tough. :)

      They did a good job of muppet-ifying Mr. Miyagi.

      Will
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    Dilbert Comic & Martial Arts
    Learn about the destructive martial arts power when Yoga, Feng Shui and Irish River Dancing are combined.

    Part One - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-09-30
    Part Two - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-10-01
    Part Three - http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-10-02

    Quote of the day - "He did a fist thing". :)

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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    Top 5 Deadliest Martial Arts Weapons
    Master Ken’s ‘definitive’ weapons guide :)
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      Andy Here is Master Ken’s ‘defiinitive’ guide to some popular MA weapons 😀 or if you haven’t done so allready you could check out blackbelt wikis slightly more comprehensive guide to weapons http://www.blackbeltwiki.com/martial-arts-weaponshttp://www.blackbeltwiki.com/martial-arts-weapons
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    Bruce Lee's One Inch Punch is Bullsh!t
    More Tiger Wisdom from everyone's favourite Martial Arts Instructor
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      Micheline Gravel LOL I saw this roll by on FB. It totally made my day. I really feel for his assistant.
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    Steven Seagal Jokes
    We have a thread for Chuck Norris Facts, and everyone on here "Loves" Seagal

    So let's have one for Steven Seagal jokes, here's your starter for ten

    Steven Seagal is being sued for harassment. The judge ruled however if you watch a Steven Seagal marathon willingly it is not harassment
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      Bill Emmes Before someone explained it to him, President Trump thought "Affirmative Action" was a Steven Segal movie.
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      Al W Good to see Steven Seagal helping fight online piracy by releasing movies no one wants to download
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    How to Automate Your Dojo
    The lesson here

    NEVER AUTOMATE YOUR DOJO
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki The funniest parts were Todd doing his Miley Cyrus impression and when mini-BOB (Bobby Bully) popped out underneath the terrified student.

      Will
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    Hitler Finds out Chuck Norris is Coming - [Episode Four]
    I thought it would be fitting that my first post should include three of my favorite things; humor, the Nazis downfall, and of course Chuck Norris.
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    Tommy Cooper's karate class
    Let's watch a true master at work
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    Krav Maga vs Karate - Which is more effective in a street fight?
    This video scientifically proves that Krav Maga is more effective in a street fight than Karate. :)

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Trevor Hill One thing is that not everyone can train as intensely as Mossad or IDF, so even if you do KM, your effectiveness only relates to your training and natural disposition in a fight.

      Many of the "hard men" in UK in 1970s were Karate men and used their stuff pretty well. That said, a guy I used to work with in a bar practised Karate but got wiped out by a chap who was just plain hard.
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki My question on Krav Maga - In the USA, there has been in an explosion in Krav Maga schools. However, has this led to a watering down of Krav Maga?

      While there are many highly experienced Krav Maga instructors, there is also a large number of instructors who seem to have limited martial arts experience. You don't see many Israeli combat veterans teaching Krav Maga in the USA.

      Will
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      Martin Alcala It still depends on the individual and their ability to defend and strike. I have seen guys from off the street and fight wildly and really confuse the martial art opponent. Your ability to adapt and train well will determined if you are a good fighter or not. The fighting system really helps you stand up but it takes you to deliver.
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    Martial Arts Trick Techniques.....
    Ok.... who is guilty of having a trick or novelty technique and what is it? I'm guilty. I saw some people on a video put a bottle on top of a wave master, round house the bag causing the bottle to fly up and then spin kick the bottle as it comes down. My goal it successfully do that one this year lol.
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki [182588,ChuckD]

      Of course, when trying "novelty" techniques... you have to watch out for the potential of epic fails - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XisAEXMT44c

      Will
      Black Belt Wiki
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    Situational Awareness & Self Defense with Master Ken
    Since it is Friday, here is some martial arts humor. In this video, Master Ken makes fun of the selfie "phenomenon". I hope the woman in this video is an actress and not really that clueless.

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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    Kungfu santa!!!!!
    What Santa does to naughty boys and girls! :)
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    Halloween
    I didnt have a costume so i just wore my gi and gave out candy at the door

    I did a few moves in the doorway and then gave the kids their candy

    One little kid was in a nightwing costume and as soon as he saw me he literally dropped his candy bag and bowed - it was the cutest thing ever
    (i gave him extra candy)
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      Andy [171786,Christopher Adamchek] that is a great story, it's nice to hear about good kids when the media is so full of horror stories about young hooligans! :)
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      Al W I have 1 pair of Karate Kid headbands that I use for student of the week at my local club. I'll stick my gi on and go door to door as a middle aged Daniel-San lol
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    Self-Defense Against A Person Armed With A Deadly Banana
    For all of our slightly older martial artists, here is a great Monty Python skit on self-defense. Do you remember this episode?

    Will
    Black Belt Wiki
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      Andy Classic! :) of course the Japanese have a different way of dealing with fresh fruit as we saw in another recent video on the community.
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      Will - Black Belt Wiki Now I see where they got the Indiana Jones scene where the huge attacker is swinging the sword & Jones eventually turns around and shoots him!!!! If only a sword was as dangerous as a banana. :)

      Will




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